Reached these words.

Its taken from me, but I am through the worst of it, we are through the best its given us yet. I've been wanting to write and have written editions in want, but here in front of the white, I am blank. Guilty of what I've felt recently, guilty of certain thoughts, weak. The Dragon is not strong enough, unless I am left defeated, I call upon his explosive relief and chant, ridiculing him, to strike and numb me. Everyday will be better from here on in, it always works this way. It starts out as that small mountain before all I want, through it I fear the climb and throw dares to the Dragon. At the top of the mountain, I look away from the dragon and wait just at the edge, in the fog, hoping to stumble, wanting the Dragon angry. Its been 7 years since anyone who knew me before has seen me since, becoming weak. I am finding comfort in the fact that, to them I have not changed, to them there is no-who I am now. I was in magazines, strong, tall and handsome, happy, safe, invincible and forever. I will never again walk the earth as I did before, from the far East to Europe, from the bottom to the top of America. I think all who experience earth, in suffering or not, will have a thirst for some semblance of it in Heaven. The greater comfort in no more suffering, no thirst, in the Dragons claws the earth breaks. I will fall into exhaustion tonight, breath the fogs of venom and remain still, until tomorrow. Bring mornings again, but not as they have come lately.