As far as I could stare.

Caught myself stairing out the window, far too long these times here, again. I blessed the joining of the sky to the earth, its mix of oceans and light, vast is life, gentle and deep is my profit. Who is aware, that I had been dreaming? Who could not see my hands pressing through the glass, harvesting? Awaken me. It has been raining all week and the clouds parallel my mood so in through the fog this share of nature is on its way to me or on its way from me. I wonder, every morning we are safe and warm, our coffee cups, our bowls waiting empty on the table and waiting.

The least recieves a miracle.

The other day, Sal and I headed to Safeway for our groceries and we could hear this awful chattering from a squirrel. Curiuosly, every time it shrieked, it would lift its front paws off the elbow of the tree limb it was squared off on. The smallest warrior didn`t seem to notice or even care that we were beneath it. In with this strange fight, its stance lifted its screamming higher and higher. We could not see if it was warning a mate or was this his cry of terror? Was a cat or maybe a bird or snake, serving up its young? We just couldn`t see his concern, what had made me invision this horror? I closed my eyes and prayed, Oh Lord, I have walked into of this day one of your least, and, I would ask you to give it strength and quiet his anxiety, Oh Lord, place a miracle as his prayers of mercy are pleaded before us. Oh Lord, on all that it cares so deeply for, as today the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the air is so warm, please leave a miracle before us. In faith, we walked and slowly, the squirrel stopped, calmed our hearts, so together we never heard another sound from the little warrior. I felt the presence of our Lord, smiled and felt a safe, our prayer was answered. I am telling the truth, I will never forget. Thank you Oh Lord, Amen.

First time this has blogged me.

Well had a long, uncomfortable weekend, seems I am a little closer to the ground and finding it hard to straighten out. I have a condition called Anklyosing Spondylitis(inflammation of the spinal column which leads to total fusion of the spine in a hunched over position). I have recently been diagnosed with sculiosis as well, and have a new curve to deal with. I can`t walk and see forward at the same time any more, but I do walk with the special canes. I`ve slept for the first 2 yrs in my wheelchair because it reclines, and since I can never lay flat again. I now sleep in a specially modified recliner that lays me down from standing into a sitting position to sleep reclined. Now, everything in my apartment is one level with no stairs, hardwood floors and huge, low, wall to wall windows. I can see out from my chair and its on the top of this highrise, which I love. I really need things to enjoy, to love, since there is not much out there for my son and I to win over. The whole place is automated and modified, in ways we can easily reach and grab. My Son is severely retarded, that he is 20 yrs old and has the reasoning of a 5 yrs old. He has a hard time walking and is underdeveloped physicaly, besides all this, we rely on each other. As he does what I physicaly can not, and I am his reasoning, to a certain extent. He suffers from mild autism with varied fascilations and unique, gift like abilities, all are a joy and a blessing . His vision is incredible and his hand strength is that of 2 men. The learning is still everyday, and that is what continues to be an honour. The gift of being a father. We both are on permanent disability and live in a special, love of forgiving each other for breaking promises. I have to sleep now, since I started writing this entry, I have fallen asleep at my desk a dozen times.