From a Christmas wake.

Here it comes again, the wait through Christmas in this year's fill of sustenance offered me. What will come the same day a year later besides palms and tears, except slow draws on still life. Let in soft wakes, not the ones you have followed, but the ones I had avoided for fist, for nights. I can not love them, I am sorry. If I can not go then I will look and if I can not look then I will listen and if I can not listen then I will feel and if I can not feel then we will be together.

The cold brace and it's clamps

That will teach you!

I'm staying still, listen to me and I will hear you. I know it's you because I am weak, why else would you draw on my thoughts while I search for you. Where have you looked at me by what struggle had I been a matter of? Nothing moves, I am here with the earth pressed against me as should I move with it, but asides this, asides this, I've become weak.

From the shadows I sought a reason to stay in its dark side and there find and reason a stay, quiet, should we be near.

Reach for me.

Everything waits, nothing turns, everything waits.

I don't want to.... write it!!! I want to climb, just extend my arms and pull life towards me, reach into space and pull myself to you.

baseball is the only game not around, so i like it.

the catcher becomes the run who starts the first baseman to pitch into the catchers designated runner who is running for his first home-run, if the linesman doesn't intercept the throw and the batter who is the miffed umpire hits the ball or the runner, then he's out, but if second baseman gets there first he can take the runner to third base and then, well, its time for the three of them to go home plate.

he was alone...

how is it that it all came together, this choosing not to believe, this i don't understand, this i wasn't protected from all i didn't ask, because it had come apart, all that has lost its way from my being used to, to not for now? well! he was alone...

say something!

"say something!"... because I can hear you... I'm here... I found them thinking of you... these thoughts... I want to see you, but it's hard cause your everywhere... why did I have to of loved this much?
all I remember is being pulled from me in chunks, and I can't find rest from this loss.
with all that was, what I remember and forget, I lost.

I miss you.

I'm here, I've made it this far and I do live longer than you. I miss you. I'm sorry, but I must breath.