Is there a way back?

This has been a long week for us since I don't get outside enough, this last 2 weeks we've spent most of the time in the house. I really want a balcony, but this wonderful apartment that has an eagle's eye view of the city from sunrises that crest the downtown highrises in the bedrooms to the sunsets over old Avenues from in the living-room. This place has no balcony to sit on for our breakfast and since I really like coffee and would really love to have it on the balcony through-out the day. I look from my window and see all the little patio tables outside on the corner with all the pretty, fashionable people sipping their espresso and all the energy from those walking from the University or from the hospital. Everyone seems so strong and healthy with such drive that I feel pulled by their energies. I fight the urge to mix with them and since, I am not one of them, all I can do is witness, want and dream. Those days are over for me and probably will never be for my son either and its hard to want to be a part of the present on the breaths of the past. I have found great adventures in my dreams, like rewalking the past, its very easy to do, with slow deep breathing and directing your thoughts to your past. I can walk the streets of Croatia again, the open markets in Milan or by the cafe's of Paris or the pearl farms of Tokyo. I miss the sweet butterscotch candy I ate in Ireland and the hot roasted peanuts in NewYork, Old Montreal theatres and the parks of Shaboogamoo or even just simple Banff are in reach this way. Am I going crazy? Is there a way back?