I hate these days.

I sleep in darkness and am awake in the same, as the mornings song is taken on winds warmed by the sun, running for darkness, is not unlike what I've done all-night, sought the longer night. This morning, I dreamt of help. I wanted. I should not have been so weak and afraid. This morning the Dragon has waited for me and I didn't have the strength to take his venom, weak from seeking shadows all night, I've hidden in want. Shameful, I am to have wished for someone to make breakfast for my son, shameful, I have wished for warm, strong hands on my shoulders to steal the pain from my blood. I was married for 20 yrs, and alone now, with my son for almost 7 years, although, I do not miss her, at all, I do miss soulfully, passionately, the gift of a women's strength. No hands in life can get closer to you than your mother, but your love can get even closer, her power can give you strength and take from you weakness. Its hard to say this, but loss is a way to appreciate having. Although today I have spent the day in bed, too sick to take my medicine, I did bring grapes, cheese and bread to my son with cookies and ribs in the fridge, which he loves to sneak quietly antways by the numbers of them lsft, I knew he would be fine. Its around 2:00 am and I am up, feeling a little better and very happy to be eating some bread, though my son ate all the ribs and all the cheese, he left me my favorites, grapes and berries. Moj Zlato